ROBERT SCARAMUCCIA
Single and ready to jingle.
About Me:
Woodland spirit looking for other woodland spirit of equal height (short) and equal aesthetic appeal (off the charts, whatever charts
are). My friends can't say enough about how great I am!
You want to hear of my nocturnal escapades, do you? Well, good sir, I hope you have a free day or two. Oh? You want to hear about Robert's? Experience usually implies that he's actually *accomplished* something, correct?
If you insist, click on the tree with the color of my hat to see his so-calledexperience.
Robert? He's ok, I guess. He kind of just dawdles around a swamp all day. Click on the tree that matches my eyes if you really want to hear more about his life.
Wait, why is Robert even making this page? He knows we're meant to be together. Click on the tree that looks like my eyes if you want to see what he's looking for in a woman. That description sounds a lot like me!
Experience (with the Ladies):
I live in a bog haunted by three magic female monsters with burlap sacks for faces. They leave me speechless. As in they often steal my voice and stick it in a wyvern nest. What more experience with the fairer sex could I need?
Memorable Moments:
- Helped Geralt, the bearded gentleman who led you here, on his quest to save the world. He trots around with two swords on his back. I think the second one is there to compensate for his sense of humor.
- Studied abroad in Skellige studying migration patterns of harpies. Lost some nice scarves to the pecking, but picked up the local tongue (Spanish, turns out).
- Volunteered at a nearby orphanage, where I sang to children orphaned by the Great War. Patroness kept mumbling something about severed ears and how I'm not real, but my dulcet tones usually drowned her out.
Looking for:
Literally anybody without a burlap sack for a face. Or above-average experience with severed ears.